So, as I said in my last post…I have a hard time resisting a book list. We had our summer reading challenges in high school and while that booklet of doorstop sized titles could be daunting, I liked going through it to see what I was going to read. It is also how I chose Pride and Prejudice for the first time.
As the summer goes on it is more difficult to resist the pull of ticking things off my BookRiot list. The last four months of the year go by fast and I like to have things done ahead of time.
BookRiot’s true crime category was more a question of choice than of desire. True crime fits right into what I do every day: trying to make sense of something outside the norm. Trying to appreciate it from another angle rather than coming from a place of judgment. Which is a luxury of mine: the chance to be objective. I don’t expect the people who these crimes affect to be objective, but I try to expect myself to be.
It also was a question of choice because my library has a ton of true crime available on audio, it seems. I have not compared this count to other forms of nonfiction available, so maybe it’s just that they get more borrows on nonfiction audio, but I was astounded at the choices I had. If they tend to have more audio of true crime than other nonfiction works, why would that be? Does the level of drama lend itself better to audio?
The Spider and the Fly: A Writer, a Murderer and a Story of Obsession, Claudia Rowe
I chose this one because I felt a reluctant ability to relate to the blurb from the library website. A young woman looking to make sense of a terrible thing, set in Poughkeepsie, New York. I knew I would be able to relate some to the setting, as I worked in the state hospital for a year in Poughkeepsie to complete my doctoral hours. In fact, one of the people in this book also worked for the hospital and with the mentally ill there. So I had been there: the country setting just a reach away from the city. I knew where she was talking about when she talked about what it was like down Rte 9. I was there more than ten years after she was, so I didn’t know as much about how the downtown had been abandoned to favor the growth around the arterial, but I had stomped where she had stomped. I drove through downtown to get to the hospital daily.
What struck me when I started to read this was all the trauma on all sides.
The writer’s trauma isn’t revealed until later on but was apparent to me pretty quickly, as one only becomes obsessed with something like a serial murderer when they are looking for their own answers. There were some skeletons urging her on from her closet too, urging her into trying to make ends of a random and senseless crime. She could relate to all the pieces: the killer, the victims, the setting, the period of time.
I think what makes it even more compelling is that the killer’s trauma is much more subtle. I have worked with people with the propensity or even history of killing and abusing others and usually the reasons are straightforward: abuse, severe neglect, trauma, psychosis. This killer, Kendall Francois, appeared to have none of these, his family presenting as completely normal on the outside, even a black family blending into the white section of town. Other siblings who for all intents and purposes seem to be functioning and contributing members of society. The inside of his home is a decrepit mess due to hoarding, so there is some illness there, and I have my own theories of what Kendall’s diagnosis could have truly been based on the author’s spin on things, so there is a shade of dysfunction, but there are plenty of harmless people in the world who struggle with hoarding. Who do not hoard rotting murder victims above their families.
When dysfunction is difficult to see, the press for answers can be more consuming, more challenging. Pieces need to be put together as they emerge from the mist, subtle in and of themselves. The pieces of his trauma line up with hers, in that they both come from families that look good on the outside but have their secrets on the inside. Her trauma matches up with the lives of his victims as well, women who turned tricks due to their own damage that wasn’t addressed. Of course I would want to read all this wreckage. I make my living sifting through wreckage!
But the author does grow and change from the experience, and that’s what we all want to see when there is wreckage. Healing. So there is meaning in it in that it helped her figure out some things for herself and move on with the usual adult milestones.
As I said in the beginning, there were many contenders for this one, and if I was not noveling, I may have read more than one for this. Helter Skelter, In Cold Blood, The Devil in the White City. All classics whereas this one is not as canonical. Clearly the rest will sit on the TBR for now, and when I get to them, I am not sure they will resonate with me as much as this one. I was once a young woman too looking for answers and dealing with extreme illness in Poughkeepsie, and in an even weirder parallel, the author and I both had boyfriends at the time who we did not end up with. And that was a good thing. So many connections on so many levels. I’m not old now, but I am certainly no longer the woman I was when I was finishing my doctorate, and neither is she when she finishes with her journey with Kendall.
Comments/likes/Shares? I’ll be reading harder (in addition to the copious other projects) as we slide into the cooler season…